Finding My Religion
by tsay cresant
Summary: People always have goals for the school year, especially senior year. Blaine's is to get Kurt to believe in God. Klaine. If I could put a third genre, it'd be Romance. WARNING: May offend. Not author's personal beliefs. Just a story. :
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: This one will be more of a 'when I have writer's block' story, so updates might be random. This is just a little prologue to set the story up. Chapters will be longer, promise. Enjoy.**

I kneeled in front of my bed, the way I did every night. It was the last night of summer, and the sweet August air was flowing into my room from my cracked open window, making me feel a little better.

"Dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much for this awesome and beautiful summer. I know I am just so blessed, and I thank you so much for that. I ask that you watch over my friends and family as we rest through the night and go through our day tomorrow, especially Kurt. Lord, thank you so much for Kurt. I know he doesn't believe in you, but please Lord, could you touch his heart and make him see you like I do. Lord, also bless me with a great first day of school, and a great senior year. In Jesus's name I pray. Amen," I whispered, my hands pressed together, elbows resting on my bed, my head leaning against my hands.

I got up off the floor, snapped my lights off, and laid down in my maroon sheets. All I could think about was Kurt, and how worried he made me. One of the first things we talked about once we got past the honeymoon stage of our relationship was our beliefs. He was so surprised that I believe in God and am a pretty strict Christian, since I'm gay and all, but then again, I was surprised when he told me he was atheist.

Now I just worry. What if something happens and he dies? He won't go to heaven. I can't imagine going to heaven and not seeing him there… Or what if the rapture happens? Kurt will be melted away at the sight of Jesus. I'll lose him forever. I don't want him to go to Hell.

I closed my eyes, trying to not think about it anymore. My goal this year was to try and get him to believe. That sounds terribly selfish, but I can't help it. I don't want to lose him forever. I can't even imagine life without him. No, this was definitely what I had to do. I just hope he'll be a little open-minded.


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: There are TONS of issues to address. I DON'T BELIEVE IN CONVERTING PEOPLE! Goodness gracious, you guys are so touchy! I'm sorry if anyone was offended by the little 400 word prologue about a boy praying, but seriously, chill out. I'm nothing like how I'm writing Blaine in any sense, but at the same time, there are plenty of people in the world like him, most of which are my friends. People who believe in Christianity believe you're going to Hell if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your savior. It's a fact that people believe this. I'm not saying you have to. IT'S A STORY GUYS! I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings by saying they're going to Hell. It's only about Blaine TRYING (I'm not even saying he's going to succeed) to get Kurt to believe. **

** And personally, I'm quite offended by how everyone reacted. I knew I'd be getting angry reviews, but seriously guys grow up. I'm sure there are stories on here about the religious issues touched upon in the Grilled Cheesus episode. What makes this one any different? **

** Religious tolerance is going to come out of it through means that I'm not going to reveil (if you saw it in my first thing, then you know). You all jumped to hasty conclusions, lost your tempers, and were immediately offended. It's very saddening because I always thought people on here very pretty open minded and would be able to handle a story like this, but I guess not. People always yell at Christians for not being open minded (like Blaine is being in the story), yet when I depict someone who is like that, everyone gets upset. I guess I'm just disappointed. I guess the only thing I can say is, if you don't like it, don't read it. That sounds harsh and really is out of my character, but I don't know what else to say. I hope people do stick around and see where this is going, but you don't have to. **

"Thanks for picking me up Blaine," Kurt said as he climbed into my car. He saw the cross that I always have hanging from my mirror, for traveling blessings, and rolled his eyes, the same way he rolls his eyes when I listen to Relient K. "Are you excited for your first day at McKinley?"  
>"Of course I am," I said cheerfully. I was very very excited for a new school, even though I was going to miss the Warblers. The end of last year sucked without Kurt being around. This is the best set up.<p>

"Do you know what you're singing for your glee audition?" he asked, staring at me with those crystal blue eyes, that I could always sense something in. I couldn't tell if it was adoration for me, or for my hair, but I hoped it was for my personality.

"Yea. I'm singing Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse. Sheet music is in my bag," I said, figuring he might not know it by the name. He flipped around and grabbed my bag from the back seat, pulling it open and finding the sheet music.

"Oh, this song! I love this song," Kurt said, grinning as he read over the music. "This song is so romantic."

"Thanks," I said, not sure what to say to that. Ever since we used the 'l word' (not lesbian) at the end of the school year last year, things seemed to be on hyper drive. Our relationship grew so much over the summer; it felt like we were never going to be apart. "Kurt, um, I know this is early, but I wanted to ask you about this now, so you can ask your dad and he can have time to think about it."

"Hmm?" he asked, flipping through my sheet music binder, looking at my other music.

"My parents are going away for the weekend, but they don't want me staying home alone, so they were wondering if you'd stay over for the weekend," I asked. Kurt's face lit up like a bulb.

"I'd love to! I just have to get my dad's ok… I'm sure he'll be fine with it," Kurt said optimistically. I smiled, knowing that Burt wouldn't be very ok with it, but Kurt would definitely try.

"Uh, do I turn here?" I asked, making sure I wouldn't get lost on the first day of school. Kurt nodded, leaning his head back against the head rest. I found the school, and we both got out of my car, ready to face senior year, both of us with goals in mind. Kurt handed me my messenger bag when I held the door open for him.

"I'll see you later," he said, planting a kiss on my cheek and running off with Mercedes and Sam. I walked into McKinley on my own, not bothered by it since I had more than enough confidence to be on my own, and found out where my home room was. I sighed with relief when I saw that Mr. Schuster was my home room teacher.

"Hello there Blaine," he said, handing me my schedule. "I'm assuming you're signing up for glee, right?"

"Of course Mr. Schuster. Already have my music picked out," I said, looking over my schedule quickly. _Global Interactions, Honors Calculus, Honors Physics, Band, French, AP English 2, Advanced Men's Choir. _Busy year.

We all sat in our home rooms, anticipation pulsing through the room while we waited to see who had the same classes as us. Of course, Rachel Berry came over to me, wanting to compare schedules.

"It looks like we don't have any classes together," she said sadly, handing me my schedule back. Inner Blaine did a little celebratory dance while I took my schedule back from her.

"Oh darn," I said, trying to sound at least a little disappointed.

"Well, at least I'll see you in glee club! You are auditioning right?" she said, almost threateningly.

"Of course I am," I said back.

"Just don't expect as many solos as you use to get at Dalton Blaine Warbler. Finn and I usually get the solos," she said pompously. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, I've heard all about that from Kurt," I said. The bell rang right as the words escaped my mouth, redefining the phrase 'saved by the bell'. I grabbed my bag and went on the hunt for my assigned locker and then my first class. I wasn't sure when I was going to see Kurt again, but if anything, we could compare schedules during lunch.

I sighed with relief when I found my locker and started loading the notebooks and folders I brought with me. I heard the locker next to me slam, making me flinch from the reminder of my old school.

"Looks like we'll be seeing a lot more of each other," Karofsky said as he locked the locker he'd just slammed. I sighed heavily. Great. That's the last thing I needed.

"You know Karofsky, you'd better clean your act up this year, because I will feel no sympathy for you if I have to kick your ass," I said, turning on my heels to face him.

"I'm not afraid of you hobbit," he said, stalking off once some of his football playing friends walked by. Of course he'd target my size. I'm not that short, am I?

After wandering the hallways like a lost dog for a few minutes, I finally found period 1, Global Interactions. A grin spread across my face when I saw Kurt sitting in a desk, who instantly flailed his arm around when he saw me. I sat down behind him, having my schedule snatched away the moment he could reach it.

"Let's see," he said. "We have almost every class together! All of them but one!" he said excitedly, handing me my schedule back. "Why did you join band?"

"I love playing the clarinet," I confessed, smoothing out my schedule. "You'll never guess whose locker is next to mine."

"Probably not," he admitted. "Want to just tell me?"

"Your favorite person in the whole world," I said.

"Karofsky? Seriously?" he groaned, but didn't have time to say much else since our turtle like teacher entered the room. Kurt turned back around to face the front, since school is, after all, about learning more than talking to each other, right?

The rest of the day went pretty fast. Nothing of particular interest really happened until it was time for my glee audition, which was easy. Mr. Schuster had already heard me sing before, so he already knew I was welcome into the club when I walked in the door. It was leaving that was bad.

"Hey Homo," Karofsky said with one of his football buddies. They both had those slushie drinks in their hands. I felt Kurt tense up next to me, which made sense because Karofsky use to bully him. I didn't think it was because they were going to pour slushie all over us.

"I warned you," Kurt said in a sing songy voice as we trudged off to the bathroom to get the corn syrupy drink out of our eyes.

"Did you?" I asked, thinking it must've been one of the times that my mind wandered off somewhere. Kurt nodded, handing me a towel out of his bag.

"Luckily, I came prepared," he said, pulling out another one for himself.

"Here, let's just go to your house and get cleaned up. Just sit on the towel when you get in the car," I said, wrapping the fluffy red towel around my shoulders. Happy first day of school Blaine.


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Note (PLEASE READ): Hey everyone! Jeez, I didn't think all of this would be happening from a little story, but it seems I've struck a nerve with a few people. I'm glad to see that some of the people I did offend are deciding to give the story a chance. I really appreciate that. It was also nice to get the supportive comments and messages. Those are really appreciated. I'm not trying to start a religious battle though. That was never my intention, so please be respectful of each other's views and please if you do message someone, be nice. : ) Love not hate. Reminder: This is just a story, so don't get too worked up. I feel like this chapter could be controversial, so if you do feel the need to leave a review, positive or negative (both are welcome) please be respectful towards other people and towards me. There is absolutely no need to be attacking me personally, since I am not Blaine Anderson. Lol, trust me. However, I am Christian, so I'm not quite sure if I'll portray the atheist viewpoint well. Since a few of you are atheist, leave in the reviews why you believe what you believe and that might help me understand Kurt a little better. : ) Enjoy and don't kill each other!**

After we got the sticky syrup off of us from our slushie facials, we both sat down in the living room, to maybe watch a movie or something. I couldn't help but think 'this is the perfect time to bring it up'. It wasn't like we were doing anything very important.

"Um, Kurt," I started. "So, there's something I want to talk about."

"Uh ok," Kurt said, shutting the tv off. "What's wrong? Do you already hate McKinley?"

"No, well, at least that isn't what I want to talk about," I said. "I want to talk about your soul."

"My soul?" Kurt said, raising his eyebrows.

"Yea, I mean, what do you think will happen to it when you die?" I asked, staring at him. Kurt exploded with laughter, holding his stomach. "Kurt, I'm serious!"  
>"I think," he said after he calmed himself down. "That when I die, then that's it."<p>

"So, you don't think there's anything else after this life?" I asked, finding that hard to comprehend.

"Yes, that's what I believe. What are you trying to get at?" he asked, stretching his legs out on the couch.

"I'm just… worried for you," I said, hoping he'd understand. The look he gave said otherwise.

"Blaine, if you go psycho Christian on me, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Kurt said angrily. "We already talked about this. You believe what you want, and I'll believe what I want."

"But Kurt, I'm just worried for you. I want you to go to heaven with me," I said, hoping he'd get that I have the best intentions. "I'm not trying to offend you."

"Well Blaine, you have offended me," Kurt said. "Please just go home."

"I don't get why you don't want to talk about it at least. You won't even hear me out," I said, starting to get angry myself. This is just like when I thought it was bi. If Kurt doesn't believe it, then it's silly for you to believe it.

"Blaine, I don't care if you worship a cow or an invisible man in the sky. Just leave me out of it, ok?" Kurt said, arms crossed.

"You're only doing this because you're afraid," I said back, regretting that instantly.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked. I wanted to say never mind, but he wasn't going to let it go.

"You're afraid that you won't get to go there and be with your mom when you die. It's easier for you to just believe it doesn't exist," I said. Kurt's eyes welled up with rage.

"I don't know who the fuck you think you are, or who I thought you were, but I want you out of my house, now! And just so you know, that isn't why I don't believe in God," he said as he walked over to the front door and threw my shoes at me. "I don't believe in God because he doesn't exist! It's just a made up little fairy tale that makes grown ups feel better about life."

I cringed, putting my shoes on while Kurt yelled at me about fake my beliefs were. Once I had my shoes on, I stood up and looked at his normally pale face, which was now red from all of his yelling.

"You know Kurt, you mentioned in there somewhere how you hate Christians because they don't accept people like us," I said, standing next to him. "And how you're so mad at me for bringing it up, because it offends you. But guess what Kurt; some Christians do accept people like us. And you sitting here telling me everything I believe and put faith in is a lie. That offends me. I only brought this up because I had your best interest in mind," I said, trying to make him understand and cooling down the more I talked.

"Just go home Blaine," he said, holding the door open for me. And so I did.

I did what I always do when I'm upset, turned to my Bible. My youth pastor, Mr. Evans (not Sam's dad) gave us packets and sheets for places in the Bible to help you cope with things. I scanned through it, looking for something that could describe how I was feeling. **Anxious? Worried? **That sounded about right. I flipped to the first verse on the paper, Matthew 6. 34.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own," I read out loud. I couldn't help but smile, just thinking about the wording, even though it didn't directly refer to what happened between Kurt and I today. At least I could remember that worrying about what happened today won't solve anything. We'll just have to work it out tomorrow. I closed my Bible with a thud, and pulled out the book I had to read for English class instead. Yes, God works in mysterious ways. Things will work out. They have to.

"Hey," I said quietly to Kurt when lunch rolled around. "I know you're still mad at me and have been ignoring me all day," I started, walking fast to keep up with him while he stalked off to his car. "But I want to try and make things right."

He turned on his heels to face me. I studied his face for some sort of sign, but, of course, it was unreadable.

"Say what you want to say," he said simply, putting his hands on his hips.

"I'm sorry for offending you," I said, staring at him. We stared at each other awkwardly, while I waited for him to apologize to me.

"Thanks," he said, and then turned away.

"You aren't going to apologize to me?" I asked, following him to his car.

"Why should I Blaine? You're the one who brought it up. You're the one who's in the wrong," he said, opening his car door. "Now let's drop it. We can go to my house if you want for lunch. It'd save us a few bucks."

I got into the passenger side of the car, deciding to wait a little bit longer, at least a few days, before trying again. I cracked my knuckles while he drove to his house, thinking of who in glee club would be on my side. Not Rachel or Puck. They're Jewish. Definitely not Santana. But… Quinn, Mercedes, and Finn might back me up… I just need to ask them for help.


	4. Chapter 3

"So what do you guys think?" I asked after explaining the situation to Mercedes, Finn, and Quinn after glee club.

"Dude, there is no way I can help you with that," Finn said, putting his hands up defensively. "I mean, I think your heart is in the right place, but I think you'll be doing more harm than good."

"I agree. Kurt's my best friend, and even though I really wish he believed in God and went to church, I wouldn't want to force it on him, and I respect that he believes something else," Mercedes said. "Besides, Kurt won't go for it. And how would you like it if the roles were flipped and Kurt was trying to make you into an atheist?"

"But this is different Mercedes," I said, although I wasn't really sure how. I had to think for a second. "Nothing against atheists, but with that belief you really don't get the sense of a higher purpose in life, and you get stuck thinking that this sucky world is the only one out there."

Mercedes sighed, staring at me. "If you keep pushing this on him, he's going to break up with you," she said. I sighed too, realizing that she's probably right. Finn and Mercedes left me in the hallway, feeling a little stupid.

"I'll help you," Quinn said, giving me a small smile. I must've looked as shocked as I felt, since I'd barely ever said 3 words to Quinn before this, even though we both go to the same church. "I think you're right. Everyone needs something to believe in."

"But what do you think I should do?" I asked as we walked out to the parking lot. Kurt was already long gone. "I tried talking to him about it, and all he did was throw my shoes at me and freak out."

"Well, I heard him talking about staying over your house this weekend. Couldn't you just ask if he wants to go to church with you? Not force him, just ask. And just keep doing that until he says yes. Invite him to youth group. We always do some kind of interesting project. Invite him to the 30 hour famine or one of our church sleepovers," she said, throwing out suggestions. "Just don't go flat out and say anything. If Kurt wants to change, he will. But he isn't going to if he thinks he's being forced into it."

"He'll get mad if I ask," Blaine said.

"Well, it's just in the way you ask. Just say 'hey, wanna come with me to church today?' or 'hey, my youth group is doing this fun thing, want to come?' something like that," she said. I'd followed her all the way to her car, shocked that she could think of this approach and I couldn't.

"I feel really dumb for not thinking that way before," I said. She smiled.

"You were just so worried that you thought you had to try and get him to believe within the week," she said smiling. "I can tell you two are crazy about each other."

"That's what he doesn't understand. He thinks I'm doing this because I want to upset him or make a big deal out of 'nothing,'"

"But really, you just want to protect him," Quinn said, finishing what I was saying. "I get it." She pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. "Here's my phone number. Text me the nights you go to youth group, and I'll make sure to be there."

"Thanks Quinn," I said, slipping her number into my back pocket. She smiled and nodded, getting in her car and waving bye. I waved back and ran to my car, realizing we'd been talking for too long and my parents were probably freaking out because I'm not home yet. My phone buzzed. I flipped it open and put it to my ear as I maneuvered out of the almost empty parking lot.

"I'm on my way, I promise Mom," I said into the phone that I held against my ear with my shoulder.

"Uh, Blaine?" Kurt said. I could hear his smile through the phone, which was a good thing.

"Oh! Sorry. I thought you were my mom. What's up Babe?" I asked once I finally made it out of the weird parking lot.

"Are you still in Lima?" he asked. I could hear something in the background. It sounded like a blender and some kind of music.

"Yea, just pulled out of the parking lot," I said, trying to pay attention to the road, even though I'm terrible at multitasking. "Can I just call you when I get home? I'm driving."

"Actually, I wanted to see if you could come over," he said quickly, talking faster now that he knows I'm driving.

"Sure, I'll come over for a little bit. Bye," I said, hanging up so I could get there alive. He knew how much I hated talking on the phone while driving, so I figured he wouldn't be upset.

Once I got to his house and he let me in, I thought for sure I was still in trouble. He was baking. He was baking a lot, more than his entire family could eat (and his family contains Finn) and he showed no sign of stopping.

"I'm sorry," I said again, staring at the plates of cupcakes on his kitchen table.

"I know," he said, mixing more muffin mix. Rent was playing on a little radio in the kitchen. "It's just, I want you to understand something. I don't believe in God because I think he doesn't exist. If he does, than he's a real ass." I cringed, walking over to him.

"And I don't get how you can believe in him, since his followers usually hate us because he said we're wrong and it's just stupid," he said, mixing harder and harder.

"I kinda disregard most of the Old Testament and people like that," I said with a shrug. "But, you know how you say it's hard for you to understand why I believe what I do? It kinda goes both ways. You understand I was just looking out for you though, right?" I asked as he handed me vanilla frosting and a knife.

"I guess so," he said, going back to mixing after he showed me which cupcakes to frost. "Just don't do it again ok? It's a touchy subject."

"Tell me about it. You almost killed me with my shoes," I said, chuckling. "I forget sometimes how strong you actually are." Kurt just smiled and rolled his eyes.

"So, my dad did say yes to this weekend," Kurt said, grinning. "He just gave me the 'be responsible' speech."

"Is that why you're baking?" I asked. "Because, truthfully, I was terrified when I saw all of these cupcakes." Kurt laughed again.

"No, I'm baking because the glee club is having another bake sale," Kurt said. "I swear, you show up to school, but you miss half of everything that goes on there."

"Probably. My attention span isn't that great," I confessed, still frosting cupcakes. "I should probably text my parents and tell them I'm here." Which I did. Just a quick little text so they wouldn't think I was in an accident or something.

"FINN!" Kurt yelled, making me throw my phone because I jumped. Finn ran off to his room, cradling 4 cupcakes in his arms. "I'm going to beat that boy in his sleep, I swear. No social skills."

"It happens. You know, my youth group has a lot of bake sales. Maybe next time we have one, we could recruit your help," I said offhandedly. "Last time I tried to bring something for it, it ended up giving people food poisoning."

"That sounds like your baking," Kurt said with an eye roll. "Maybe, it just depends on how busy I am."

I felt my heart skip. He didn't say no and throw things at me! This could be how I get him to come with me to youth group! This is perfect!  
>"I don't want to sound stupid, but, what's youth group?" Kurt asked. I felt my stomach fall. That's what I get for getting excited.<p>

"It's a group of teenagers in my church who do community service projects and mission projects together," I said, which made Kurt give me that look again. "I wasn't saying you had to come. Just that it'd be nice to have some of your nice cupcakes to sell."

"I'll think about it. Just please Blaine, give it a rest though. If you keep it up, I'm going to start doing the exact same thing to you," Kurt said, holding up his mixer at me. I nodded, licking the frosting off of my fingers. I guess Quinn was right. This would take a lot longer than I thought.


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Hi guys, so once again I have lots of stuff to talk about. Read if you're interested. If not, go ahead and read the chapter. Ok, so there's a lot of different reviews out there, but I'm hearing similar things. I'm going to touch on them quickly. Ok, first off, everyone is saying how Blaine is being very pushy, which I agree with. I wrote him like that because Blaine seems like a very passionate character, and he seems to care a lot for Kurt, even though he can be very oblivious. Passionate and oblivious can turn into pushy. He's not meaning to be though. Ok, other thing is the comment Blaine made about Kurt's mom. That was supposed to be one of those "I didn't mean to say that. I said it out of anger" things. He didn't really mean it. People say mean things when they get mad all the time. Lastly, someone asked me what my purpose in writing this was exactly. It was definitely NOT to get people upset. I hate conflict actually. It was kind of a story I made up at 1 am and posted without thinking people would get so upset. The story probably only has one chapter left. I think everyone will be happy with the end, and I hope you all stick around to read it. I'm not going to give it away though. Thanks for the reviews! I don't mind if they're as long as the chapter. I still read them all. Enjoy.**

The rest of the week went relatively well. Kurt and I dodged stepping on each other's religious toes and talked more about our plans for the weekend than anything else. We decided that it was going to be a big movie weekend, which both of us was game for since it was supposed to pour down rain all weekend.

"I'll bring The Sound of Music and Cabaret," he said, writing the different movies down. "You have Les Miserables and Rent. Anything else you can think of?"

"Not really. Just bring those and any more you might think of," I said. "Oh, and I won't be able to stay for glee rehearsal today."

"Why?" Kurt asked, shocked that I'd miss a rehearsal.

"I just have to go meet with someone. I'll be back in time to pick you up to go to my place," I answered back. Kurt obviously wasn't happy, but he got over it by the time the end of the day rolled around, and went to glee with Mercedes while I ran out to my car. I had a meeting with Mr. Evans (the youth pastor, still not Sam's dad) about everything going on with Kurt and me. I wanted his opinion on where to go next, although I pretty much decided to ask Kurt to come with me to church.

I pulled into Mr. Evans driveway and knocked on the door of his small house, where he and his wife lived. He answered right away. Mr. Evans was in his late twenties, early thirties, had dark brown hair, and a killer smile. Every girl in the youth group had a crush on him, and I couldn't blame them.

"Hey Kid. Come on in," he said, opening the door wider for me to come in. He sat down on his small sofa and gestured to a chair for me to sit in. "So what's going on?"

He must've regretted asking me that because I told him everything from Kurt's beliefs, to the major fight we got in, to the cupcake factory he made his kitchen into. Mr. Evans just nodded, listening, only feeling slightly uncomfortable that Kurt's my boyfriend.

"So, what do you think I should do next?" I said, once I finished giving him every detail of the situation. He sat there for a minute, staring up at the ceiling, but finally said something.

"Blaine, I'm glad you came to me," he said, almost laughing. "Because you're about this close to stepping in it big time."

"What?" I asked, really confused now.

"You need to back off," he said. "Because, if this person means as much to you as I can tell he does, you're going to lose him."

"But he won't go to heaven and then he'll have to rot in hell forever and-"I started, but Mr. Evans cut me off with his hand.

"You're heart is in the right place Blaine. I'm not saying it isn't. However, the person you're dealing with, from what I've collected, is a very strong individual, and you're pushing him. You aren't meaning to, but you are, and that's why he's getting so upset," he said, nodding at the end of his statement, like he knows his right.

"So what should I do then? I've already apologized, twice," I said, shoulder slumping.

"Well, what I would do if I was you is first, apologize again and actually mean it, since it seems like you must've not meant it the first two times if you're still pushing him. Secondly, tell him that you respect his views, though you may not understand them, and tell him if he has any questions about yours, he can ask you. And, lastly, take that boy out for some ice cream! I mean, you think how stressed out you've been, imagine what it's been like for him," he said, smiling.

"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling stupid for not getting this.

"You mentioned that a lot of his friends are religious. Well, that probably means you aren't the only person who's pushed him like this before. Plus, since he is your boyfriend, that means he cares a lot about your opinion of him. If you've been doing this to him, he more likely than not feels like he's upset you or isn't good enough for your standards. Also, imagine if the table was flipped and he was trying to convince you that God isn't real. I know you said he'd said that a few times and how upset it made you. Well, in a way, you've been doing the exact same thing," he said animatedly. I sat there, frozen for a second.

"I am such an idiot," I said, staring at the lamp next to his couch. "I didn't even think about it that way."

"No, you aren't an idiot. You just wanted to help someone you love, and you took it too far. You were blinded by what you wanted to accomplish," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Like I said, I'm just glad you came to me now, and not later."

"Yea," I said, rubbing the back of my head. "Me too. But do you think that means I shouldn't ask him to church?" Mr. Evans paused again, thinking.

"Well," he finally said. "I'm not going to say no, because he's more than welcome to come, and I know you'll be coming no matter what, so I would just ask once, if he says no then that's fine and if he says yes then that's fine to. Just don't load the question and be very casual about it."

"Alright, thank you so much," I said with a sigh of relief, realizing now that I almost did blow it.

"Anytime," he said as my phone started buzzing. I pulled it out of my jacket pocket.

**Kurt Hummel: **Glee's been over for 10 minutes. Did you forget something?

"Crap, I have to go pick Kurt up. Thanks again Mr. Evans. See you Sunday," I said, getting up, barely sticking my shoes on and running out to my car. After completely breaking the speed limit, I got to McKinley High School, where Kurt was standing, his overnight bag at his feet and his arms crossed. I pulled up to the school and almost honked, but then thought that was completely classless, so I parked and got out.

"Hey, there you are," he said. "I thought you might've gotten lost in the back roads or something."

"Nope," I said, picking up his bag. "Just lost track of time." I put his bag in the trunk of my car and got into the drivers side. He was already fiddling with the radio as I drove to the next stop.

"This isn't how we get to your house," he said, looking at me warily. "Where are we going?"

"To get ice cream," I said with a smile. "You deserve it after dealing with me this week."


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: I'm about 99.9% sure that I'm going to take this story down. I'm getting fed up with the hate on here, and I know people are going to be pissed that I said that since I shouldn't have posted this story or something. I don't know. So here's the last chapter, for anyone who cares. I just finished it, so there might be mistakes, but yea, whatever. I'm sure that'll be the last complaint. I'll probably leave the story up for another week and then delete it. Sorry for getting people upset. That was never the intention. **

I got up Sunday morning and got ready for church like I usually do. It was about an hour before I had to leave, which gave me plenty of time to wake Kurt up and make sure he knows where I'm going, and give him enough time to figure out if he wants to come or not. I walked down the hall to the guest room he was staying in and knocked lightly on the door. When there was no answer, I peeked my head in to see Kurt buried in the pillows and blankets of the queen sized bed.

"Hey Kurt, I'm going to church in about an hour," I said quietly. He stirred and sat up, not quite awake. His hair was sticking up in different angles as he dug his fists into his eyes.

"Huh?"

"I'm going to church in about an hour. Would you like to come with me?" I asked, in the exact way I'd rehearsed it this morning in front of the mirror.

"No thanks," he said, burying himself back into the blankets.

"Alright. Coffee's brewing, if you want some when you wake up," I said, concealing my disappointment. I'd expected him to maybe say yes after we'd had our heart to heart over ice cream, where he told me I was being pushy and rude, and where I reminded him that he threw a shoe at my head. I guess things just don't always work out.

I sat down near the front of the sanctuary, just before the service was about to start. Our pastor always has music playing in the background in between services, and I closed my eyes to listen to it. It was some sort of spiritual song, and it was pretty but not exactly what I wanted to hear at the moment. Instead, I prayed.

"Dear Heavenly Father, so I know I've been kinda a jerk lately to Kurt, but you get it right? I was just trying to get him to have the same kind of relationship with you that I have with you, since I know you can do such wonderful things and that sometimes he could use your comfort, especially when he had to face bullies and his father's heart problems. I know that he can only come to you on his own accord, but I ask Lord that if he decides to, that he understands why I did what I did. I don't think he does right now, but just bless him with understanding, because I do feel bad for pushing him. As always, thank you so much for the beautiful life you've blessed me with, and for all of the wonderful people around me. Help me use this day to celebrate your glory and mercy and grace. In Jesus's name I pray. Amen."

"Kurt's a no show?" Quinn asked as soon as I opened my eyes and looked up. She must've sat down next to me at one point.

"Yea. I can't blame him though. We stayed up till two watching movies," I said. Quinn smiled at my optimism. "Also, after how I acted, I wouldn't want to come either."

"Don't beat yourself up over it. Like I'm sure you've heard, you had the best intentions, just not the best tactic," she said, smoothing out her skirt. "It isn't like all hope is lost or anything. You'll just be walking on eggshells for the next month or so. That doesn't mean you can't invite him to youth group or anything."

"I guess," I said.

"Just don't worry about it. If it's meant to happen, God will take care of it, right?" she said. I nodded as the organ music started, signaling the beginning of the service.

"Hey," I said as I opened the back door to my house, which opened to the kitchen. Kurt was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and the newspaper. "Are you seriously reading the newspaper?"

"Just the comics. So, uh, did you have fun?" he asked awkwardly. "I don't think that's what you ask someone after church, but you know what I mean." I laughed.

"Yes, I had fun Kurt. Did you have breakfast yet? Well, I guess it'd be lunch now," I asked.

"No, I don't know where anything is in your house," he said, pushing the newspaper aside.

"I guess I'll make something," I said, staring at the kitchen with fear. I catch things on fire when I try to cook. "Sandwiches are looking like the ideal lunch."

"Sounds good, as long as it doesn't involve you burning the place down," Kurt said, taking another sip of his coffee.

"How long have you been up?" I asked as I pulled out the jelly, the peanut butter, and the bread. Kurt was still in his pajamas, but his hair was done, meaning he probably did his moisturizing routine too.

"About an hour. Ew! What are you doing?" he asked when he saw me putting bananas in my peanut butter sandwich.

"Making myself a peanut butter banana sandwich," I said, not seeing what was so offensive.

"Fruit shouldn't be in sandwiches," Kurt said in a joking stern voice. I just stuck my tongue out at him and handed him a pbj without bananas.

"But isn't jelly made out of fruit?" I asked, sitting down next to him after pouring myself a glass of milk.

"That doesn't count. Jelly is supposed to be in sandwiches," he said. The conversation stayed on the safe side for a while until Kurt looked at me, thinking. "So, you said when we went out to ice cream to ask you if I had a question about something right?"

"Yea," I said, my heart thudding even though I told myself not to get too worked up. He could tell I was excited.

"Don't freak out. I'm not planning on becoming a Christian or anything. This has more to do with you," he said, which I should've expected but I guess sometimes I can be stupidly optimistic. "How did you deal with the whole 'being gay is a sin' thing? I know you said you basically ignored the Old Testament, but I'm guessing you were kidding."

"Yea I was kidding. And, that did take me a long time to get over," I started. "I remember I use to pray all the time for it to go away, you know? Because I thought 'if being gay displeases God, then I can't be that way.'" I saw Kurt cringe a bit, but I was still smiling.

"So, I went to my pastor and asked him about what his thoughts were. This was before I'd come out to anyone, so I felt like he'd give me an honest opinion. He told me that back when Leviticus was written, the Earth was still young and that a lot of the rules regarding things of that nature had to do with the need to procreate. So, he basically told me that there are pastors who believe that means that what Leviticus says about being gay is irrelevant to today's day and age. He explained the other ones to me too, but you'd have to really know the Bible to get those. Bottom line, he basically told me that he believed that if someone who was gay believed in God and believed that Jesus was their savior, then they have every right to go to heaven," I said, catching my breath from my long speech. "Why do you want to know?"

"Well," Kurt said. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to turn into one of those self loathing people over it. I guess I'd never realized till this week how religious you actually are."

"Yea," I said, rubbing the back of my head. "I guess I just didn't have any reason before this week to bring it up. I am sorry."

"Blaine, you've apologized like five times. I get it. We'll just move past it, ok?" Kurt said. "Let's just try to avoid stepping on each other's religious toes again."

"I agree," I said, kissing his forehead.

"Ew Blaine! You were just eating peanut butter!" Kurt yelled, even though he didn't make any attempts at pushing me away. I wiped my peanut butter scented spit off his forehead with my shirt sleeve.

"Better?" I asked.

"Much," he said simply. And I knew that he was right. Everything was better, even if things hadn't worked out how I wanted them to. It was all part of God's plan.


End file.
